Don't Blame Me, I Didn't Give Him The Tinky-Winky Doll For Christmas.

The community over at Metafilter is having a ball with this topic today, and it costs money to be a posting member there. So why don't you nice people have a crack at it here for free? The topic: Is My Child Becoming Homosexual? A helpful guide from the kind people at Focus on the Family. "Don’t wait until your daughter’s masculinized behavior or your son’s effeminate preferences get any worse!"

Hoo boy.

UPDATE UPDATE HOLD THE PRESSES: Learning about your child's pre-homosexual tendencies is also available.

There is a plan for your pre-homosexual child that will ensure him or her a normal life. Studies have been conducted that prove you can turn your child from "acting gayer" into "being a straight-up player". Simply play this song for your child a lot. Click below to download it, it helps. The following part of the song is known to reverse homosexual tendencies and urges, particular in pre-homosexual tendecy-based children, when played repeatedly at high volume:

"The Moet and Alize keep me pissy
Girls used to diss me
Now they write letters 'cause they miss me
I never thought it could happen, this rappin' stuff
I was too used to packin' gats and stuff
Now honies play me close like butter played toast
From the Mississippi down to the east coast"