Love You, E.J.-- My Trip To Love In Action/Refuge's Open Meeting
"Love You, Tommy" they all said simultaneously, echoing the sentiment that Love In Action was attempting to carry forward with its agenda unwavered by the trickle of outsiders who had chosen to attend their monthly "Family & Friends" open meeting. For my part, I decided to arrive somewhat incognito -- sans my traditional baseball cap and without having shaven, dressed relatively nicely, and trying my best to blend in with the crowd. Members of the QAC were in attendance with me, along with the president of our local PFLAG chapter, several people who have taken active interest in this story since day one, and a writer for the New York Times named Alex Williams.
I actually worked very hard to seperate myself from the other non-participating observers at the meeting because I wanted to stay very focused on what I would see and hear, to take all of it in. This was, after all, the mouth of the beast. If I were even allowed inside this open meeting, it would mean I would have to pay very careful attention.
A clipboard was being passed around, and one of the other "casual observers" was being pointed by Tommy Corman, Love In Action's media relations coordinator, to sign the non-disclosure agreement it contained. "Why do I need to sign a confidentiality agreement?" the woman asked. "I am not required to sign anything and I'm not going to sign anything." Without incident, Corman walked away. Later, I would overhear the woman being told by another observer that as guests of Love In Action/Refuge, we would have to sign anything that they asked us to.
Unlike others that had seen the clipboard, I neither was asked to sign nor did the notion of signing it come into question. I had made it through the door without fear of being recognized, or so it seemed.
There, across the circle from me, sat Zach, flanked by other Love In Action/Refuge clients and a gentleman who may well have been his father. He looked straight at me but did not acknowledge me, likely for fear that it would break one of the rules.
Three boxes of tissues were placed in the middle of the floor and as the meeting began, the group's "norms" were spoken individually by various group members.
The actual content of the meeting is something that I am not allowed to discuss because of my own beliefs about the sanctity of group therapy.
Wait, did I just say "group therapy"? Why, yes, I absolutely did.
Doesn't therapy require a license in the State of Tennessee? That's what we're waiting to find out about, I gather.
What I can say without betraying any trust: what I saw inside this meeting was not simply the ministerial meanderings of Love in Action (though a great deal of preaching and proselytizing did go on). The format was pure group therapy modified for the purposes of some theatrical gesturing on the part of its practitioners.
Everyone I interacted with was keenly aware of the presence of outsiders and were quick to behave in a manner accordant with that premise. Testimonials happened, and if any evidence existed to suggest that this was what took place regularly during any open meeting at LIA/R, I did not see it.
After the meeting, I was approached by one of the staff members who recognized me from the demonstrations just weeks before. "I prayed that you would come to this meeting, and clearly my prayers were answered," he said. Everyone was all smiles, cheerful, upbeat, friendly. When I would shake hands with or talk to members of the group, it would be as sweet as could be. But when I walked away, in my peripheral vision I could see a deep-seated fear from each one.
Were they afraid that I was out to take away their lifeline to their understanding of Jesus Christ, or were they fearful that I had actually embraced a real truth beyond their understanding? Were they praying for me, or were they praying for themselves that they were right and I was wrong? I could not tell you which one, but I can say that I doubt Zach buys into a great deal of what they are saying. It was related to me that he rolled his eyes at certain things, but it's a bit like interpreting something you read on the internet -- you can't know for sure what the total meaning is when that statement/situation contains no inflection.
One thing about cults: you can never really tell what the damage will be until months, years later. I only hope for Zach's sake that this experience does not cause him more emotional turmoil or internal conflict about who he is.
Some of the smartest people I know have been lured by the conscience of groups like Love In Action. For a moment, I myself was even swayed. It has taken me this entire week to process what I experienced, and I'm still not done.
I actually worked very hard to seperate myself from the other non-participating observers at the meeting because I wanted to stay very focused on what I would see and hear, to take all of it in. This was, after all, the mouth of the beast. If I were even allowed inside this open meeting, it would mean I would have to pay very careful attention.
A clipboard was being passed around, and one of the other "casual observers" was being pointed by Tommy Corman, Love In Action's media relations coordinator, to sign the non-disclosure agreement it contained. "Why do I need to sign a confidentiality agreement?" the woman asked. "I am not required to sign anything and I'm not going to sign anything." Without incident, Corman walked away. Later, I would overhear the woman being told by another observer that as guests of Love In Action/Refuge, we would have to sign anything that they asked us to.
Unlike others that had seen the clipboard, I neither was asked to sign nor did the notion of signing it come into question. I had made it through the door without fear of being recognized, or so it seemed.
There, across the circle from me, sat Zach, flanked by other Love In Action/Refuge clients and a gentleman who may well have been his father. He looked straight at me but did not acknowledge me, likely for fear that it would break one of the rules.
Three boxes of tissues were placed in the middle of the floor and as the meeting began, the group's "norms" were spoken individually by various group members.
The actual content of the meeting is something that I am not allowed to discuss because of my own beliefs about the sanctity of group therapy.
Wait, did I just say "group therapy"? Why, yes, I absolutely did.
Doesn't therapy require a license in the State of Tennessee? That's what we're waiting to find out about, I gather.
What I can say without betraying any trust: what I saw inside this meeting was not simply the ministerial meanderings of Love in Action (though a great deal of preaching and proselytizing did go on). The format was pure group therapy modified for the purposes of some theatrical gesturing on the part of its practitioners.
Everyone I interacted with was keenly aware of the presence of outsiders and were quick to behave in a manner accordant with that premise. Testimonials happened, and if any evidence existed to suggest that this was what took place regularly during any open meeting at LIA/R, I did not see it.
After the meeting, I was approached by one of the staff members who recognized me from the demonstrations just weeks before. "I prayed that you would come to this meeting, and clearly my prayers were answered," he said. Everyone was all smiles, cheerful, upbeat, friendly. When I would shake hands with or talk to members of the group, it would be as sweet as could be. But when I walked away, in my peripheral vision I could see a deep-seated fear from each one.
Were they afraid that I was out to take away their lifeline to their understanding of Jesus Christ, or were they fearful that I had actually embraced a real truth beyond their understanding? Were they praying for me, or were they praying for themselves that they were right and I was wrong? I could not tell you which one, but I can say that I doubt Zach buys into a great deal of what they are saying. It was related to me that he rolled his eyes at certain things, but it's a bit like interpreting something you read on the internet -- you can't know for sure what the total meaning is when that statement/situation contains no inflection.
One thing about cults: you can never really tell what the damage will be until months, years later. I only hope for Zach's sake that this experience does not cause him more emotional turmoil or internal conflict about who he is.
Some of the smartest people I know have been lured by the conscience of groups like Love In Action. For a moment, I myself was even swayed. It has taken me this entire week to process what I experienced, and I'm still not done.
posted by EJ at 7/12/2005 01:44:00 PM
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