Michael Frederick, You Asshole.

If you ever wondered who got me my first glimpse into blogging, it would have to be Michael "Toad" Frederick. I love Toad, he's someone that I just enjoy being around. In many ways, Toad is my hero, you see. He is one of the funniest people I know, because he's not afraid to push the envelope as far as it can be pushed. Recently, I've been worried about my friend Toad, mostly because he never calls or sends me random IM's anymore. I know he's been taking a lot of things that normal people don't put into their bodies if they aren't rock stars or cancer patients. Toad is neither, but you wouldn't know that to ask him.

This morning, The Paradox alerted me to Toad's blog wherein his girlfriend, Valerie, proclaims him to have committed suicide on Monday. Now, I figure that this is some sort of practical joke because, knowing Toad, that's the way he would do it -- you don't hear from him for a while and then, to grab everyone's attention, he fakes his own suicide on his website. I looked around, I could find no obituary for a Michael Frederick or even a Toad. Ok, ha ha ha, jokes on me.

But the bad part is, he's still on AIM and he isn't answering his phone. His company website is completely off-line. The Paradox said it best:

[11:07] IndiePopPop: dude he's on fucking AIM
[11:07] IndiePopPop: he aint dead
[11:07] MrTekno: hehe
[11:07] MrTekno: he's away.
[11:07] MrTekno: toad would be on aim after death anyway man. trust me on this one.

HAS ANYONE SEEN MICHAEL FREDERICK?!?! If you have, please tell him to call me because I love him and if he killed himself, I'm gonna kick his ass when I die someday.

If he didn't kill himself, I'm gonna kick his ass for making me worry about him.

Note to my readers: Faking your own death DOES NOT EQUAL FUNNY.

Please continue onwards with your day.

Thus beginneth the mystery of my friend's possibly-faked suicide. If he's dead, let me know because I want to start mourning as quickly as possible to prevent interrupting my enjoyment of The Amazing Race Season 7. I need to be completely focused, or I might miss a detail.