Lichterman Nature Center to Cut Staff, Planetarium Closed

"Lichterman Nature Center? Never knew it existed!" That's what you'll hear frequently from tourists visiting Memphis as well as many of the local citizens. Though not very well advertised, Lichterman has been around since I was a kid and is a place I like to take friends who are visiting to just get away from the hustle and bustle. It's a beautiful place, but it's in trouble, folks. Apparently, city budget cuts are affecting all areas of the arts in Memphis. One of our great natural resources and protectives, Lichterman Nature Center, has had most of their funding chopped. I talked with a man who works for the city (who asked not to be named) and he told me the following: all the teaching teaching staff is part-time and they will all be laid off March 1st. The teaching staff at the center does animal and plant care in addition to teaching the many programs offered there. The handful of full-time people that are left will do everything -- which means serious cutbacks in what Lichterman can offer. There is a good possibility that animals that are cared for will be sent elsewhere, and the center will be cancelling many of the resource programs that are offered. It seems that our mayor, in cadence with the city council, is cutting the budget dramatically and Lichterman is suffering. Citywide, as a result of budget cuts and a 28 million dollar deficit, there will be 200 full time and 1800 part time city employees getting laid off.

Why is Lichterman, a place that had brand new buildings costing 7 million dollars when built in 2000, being pushed aside? One side of the story appears to be that many of the buildings require major repairs. The center, which is operated by the Pink Palace, had no comment on the story.

As for the Sharpe Planetarium, the staff of the planetarium had been asking Pink Palace officials for a very long time to provide funding for new equipment, as much of the planetarium's equipment is outdated. In response to the repeated requests for new equipment, the Pink Palace could not keep up with the operating budget needs and has instead closed the planetarium to the public.

What's next on the agenda? Will we be closing the Memphis Zoo? The Brooks? These are questions that everyone in the arts in Memphis should be considering carefully. It's pretty clear to me that the arts in Memphis is in dangerous territory here. The potential for losing major centers of culture in Memphis is very much a possibility. Because these are non-profits, donations can be made to these centers to keep them alive. If you value these places as much as I do, please do whatever you can do to raise awareness of the potential for what could prove devestating losses to the city's cultural centers.

David Meinert: A Blueprint For Real Change In The Music Industry And Beyond.

David Meinert has been a blessing in my life and the lives of countless other members of the semi-defunct Seattle music scene of the 1990's. Without his encouragement, a great number of things that I hold personally dear to me would be lost. I have always seen David's radical efforts towards change eventually pay off in one way or another. I have looked to him for both personal and professional advice over the years. To me, David is a picture of what the courage of your convictions can do if you don't take no for an answer. What a great surprise it was to read this week's issue of The Stranger, Seattle's free alternative weekly paper, and see him shining in the proof of what great effort can achieve in a city where old ways are not necessarily best ways. If you fancy yourself part of the music community in your city in any way, as an artist, manager, producer, promoter, or just someone who is interested in the biz, I recommend you take a few minutes to read this story. The story highlights the travelogues of a man who went from fighting for change in the music industry as a total outsider just ten years ago to today organizing political benefits, being called "one of Seattle's 25 most influential people" and becoming head of the Pacific Northwest chapter of the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (NARAS), also known as the people who put on the Grammies every year. It's an incredible shift from booking little shows around town to being the force from which city ordinances are defeated and political figures are made.

David's work ought to have value to even the most cynical among you. David, when I knew him, was a great cynic -- but a cynic who could see the loophole and found a way to jump thru it and bring people with him. Something real is always within reach, and David is ironclad proof. My congratulations go out to him and to the many people back in my old neighborhood who, along with him, have stayed courageous through a lot of bullshit and fought tirelessly to make a real difference. We could all learn something from him.

Photo: Bootsy Holler

Download of the Day:
[Mary Timony - Return to Pirates][128kbps]
from the soon-to-be-released album Ex-Hex

Fred Durst Sex Tape Not From His Sidekick

According to MTV News, the Fred Durst sex tape did not come from a T-Mobile Sidekick. Apparently, he doesn't even own one.

MTV Reports:

"Everyone, probably everyone in this building, has done something similar to what I did, and nobody cares about it," he added during a break from recording the next Limp Bizkit album in Interscope Records' studio. "But if you're high-profile, or on someone's radar ... then it matters. What happens to me happens to me, and I have to live with it and go on."

More to come, I'm sure.

Michael Jackson Season 1 - REVEALED!!!!

Well, ABC News has revealed a surprise witness will be called in the Jackolestation case. According to the story, "ABC News has been told exclusively by sources in the case that the witness is a paralegal who worked for the attorney representing the accuser's mother when their family sued J.C. Penney and won a $137,500 settlement in October 2001." Apparently, she's gonna lay the smack down on the accusers mama and prove she's a scheming hoe out to get some cash by any means necessary. I'm sure there will be more on this story, keep close to your monitors. I'm sure it's gonna slow down your weekend and all, having this crucial information at your fingertips.

Durst is So Fucking Durst....

Hard to admit it, but everybody wants to punk Fred Durst. He's made enemies out of more friends than most of the friends I have. But, alas, I must once again say that he's never done anything mean to me so far. In fact, he was one of the guys who was nice to work with back in '98 at the MTV Sports & Music Festival 2 here. Maybe cuz I was all Seattle-tight with Nathan, the guy from the Real World Seattle that pitched Limp Bizkit to MTV for the festival? I dunno if it's true, but that's what he told me. Anyways, all love aside, Fred just got T-Mobile hacked.

According to Stereogum via Drudge,

"The hardcore video -- with audio -- shows Durst engaging in
unprotected sex with a female. The graphic ''T-MOBILE TERRORIST'
is seen throughout the clip. A site hosting the hack reads: 'I'M
SORRY, U SELLOUT :)' Law enforcement officials believe the video
comes from the same source who presented Paris's Sidekick diary."

Those of you who have always been a bit curious what it would be like to have sex with a big hairy rock star whose dick has bumps all over it will agree that the video (if you can find it) is a lovely glimpse into what that might be like. You are going to need the DivX codec in order to view this monstrosity, and if you have Windows, I recommend the hellninjacommando DefilerPak for all your codec needs. The correct codec will be installed as part of the bundle. Download the DefilerPak, install it, and you got everything ya need.

UPDATE: I've taken down the links to the mirrors to prevent any wrath. A close friend and business associate is working with Fred on several projects and I don't want to create any further heat for him or for me. Fred is a Leo, so I imagine that he's relishing in the attention, even if it's not precisely what he signed on for. However, just in case (and so as not to appear to be on the hater bandwagon), I'd rather stay out of it altogether. Like I said, Fred has never been anything but nice to me. The link in this post should help you to find the video, though. Good luck.

Dirty, dirty, dirty. STRONG WARNING: NOT WORK OR KID SAFE!

Maxin' With The Memphis Feel-Harmonic DJ Symphony Orchestra

If you're wondering where you'll find me and the Al-Chymical Rhyme Circus this weekend, there's no question about it. This is one of the guaranteed locations at which the frequency will be set on my radio stations. I also plan on seeing Augustine at least once this weekend (if not twice?). Hope to see a bunch of you out this weekend!

Jesus Walks... Or Does He?

Oh what a tangled web we weave, people. Peggy Phillip reported on Tuesday that Memphis' own Andy Wise, reporter for News Channel 3, had gotten a prized interview with Mayor Herenton's baby-momma. I didn't see the story, so I'm going a bit blind here based on what I've read. Appears old Andy there took it upon himself to give the story a bit of a faith-oriented slant, seeing as how, according to him, it was by being "bold in our faith" that anyone could have gotten the extremely sought-after story. See, that would've been fine -- had it not been for his very public letter to Darrell Phillips, a reporter for rival station WMC-TV 5, about how he snagged the scoop of the year. Darrell shared the letter on his blogspace, and now there is some trouble afoot for the Wise one. From varying sources, I have heard that Andy is on suspension either (a) for contacting Darrell about the story, or (b) because he has pissed off one too many decision makers.

I mean, you know...whatever. End of the day, the job is the job. Reporters are supposed to remain impartial with regards to personal matters when it comes to reporting, am I correct here? If it moves him to sing the praises of his beliefs, I say sing it from the highest mountaintop with the flock to back him up. But this is television news, not the frickin' PTL Club. Maybe Andy thinks himself a modern day Jerry Landers instead of a modern day Jerry Tate. Whatever the case, you gotta be careful when you stick that buzz in your biz.

Queens of the Stone Age Sidelined by a Bloody Cold. No, Like, fo' REAL Blood.

Apparently, Josh Homme has been sidelined due to the fact that he's coughing up blood. Yummy. I guess if you do enough drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes for a long enough time (and rock hard enough, of course), you'll start hurling plasma lungbunnies, too. When Josh gets off the respirator, I know he will be back serving the good people of the world with snacky treats from the new QOTSA record, Lullabies to Paralyze.

Apple Announces Improved iPods, Price Cuts

So you're trying to look cool with your OLD iPod? Pshaw, sucka. Apple announced on Wednesday that they are updating their popular iPod line with some serious improvements. Things like improved batteries, improved battery life, and they've introduced both a 30GB and a 60GB model. So, just when you finally got all yer Free iPod referrals cashed in, along comes Apple to fuck up the program once again. But hey -- that old one will make a nice doorstop when the battery dies on it finally.

This Week's New Releases (One Day Late)

Here's a bevvy of new releases worth checking out:

Kings Of Leon - Aha Shake Heartbreak
Ben Lee - Awake Is The New Sleep
Tori Amos - The Beekeper
Hellacopters - Cream Of The Crap 2
Thievery Corporation - Cosmic Game
Scritti Politti - Early
Clem Snide - End Of Love
Aesop Rock - Fast Car Danger Fire & Knives
Josh Rouse - Nashville
Adam Green - Gemstones
Mogwai - Government Commissions: BBC Sessions 1996-2003
Ida - Heart Like A River
Stereolab - Switched On (Reissue)
M Ward - Transistor Radio
Libertines - What Became Of The Likely Lads (CD-SINGLE U.S.)
Iron & Wine - Woman King EP
Petra Haden - Who Sell Out

Soldout - Make Your Own Sex

Hey, Captain Psyko (aka Keith from Teaching The Indie Kids To Dance Again) ruined my night with this incredible find. This band called Soldout has a flash player on their site that lets you remix their song, "I Don't Want To Have Sex With You", using an interactive groove factory. The song setup is really cool electro-punk and you can choose from a few different vocal samples, keyboard styles, and beats. Play with it for a while until you get the feel for it, then remix it all again!

The best part: like the remix that you made? YOU CAN BUY IT RIGHT AFTER YOU GET DONE!

Use the various samples to piece together your own remix, then buy it. This, folks, is the future of music.

Follow the instructions below --

[00:23] Captain Psyko: http://www.soldout.be/ - click Make Your Own.
[00:24] Captain Psyko: this shit is mothafucking GROUNDBREAKING.
[00:24] Captain Psyko: basically, lets you mix your own version of the track and buy a copy.
[00:24] EJ: rofl
[00:26] EJ: takes too long to load
[00:26] Captain Psyko: yea. flash. :(
[00:29] EJ: god thats fucking amazing
[00:29] EJ: amazing amazing amazing.
[00:29] EJ: jesus

Paris Hilton Blah Blah Blah, Blah Blah Blah Blah.

OK, so admittedly, I found the ongoing investigation into the Paris Hilton hack interesting for a minute. It's pretty much the nastiest hack of all time. Think for a minute about how many people have been affected by this one hack? All those celebrities (and non-celebrities) have to change their phone numbers and feed their numbers back out to people whom they actually know one by one. If anyone had a big deal going down on Monday of any kind, well that shit just got put on hold. Why? Well, they had to change their phone number. Duh.

Of course, if you're an a-list celeb and you are tired of everyone blowing up your phone all the time, what easier way to have an excuse for changing your number and not giving it out ever again than this? Blame it on Paris Hilton, then never give her your number again.

The ongoing coverage of this saga over at Gawker is fascinating. I'm not going to post any mirrored links, if you want them someone at some other blog already has them. I don't want to be party to further invading her privacy. She's never been anything but nice to me as far as I can remember.

People are talking about how Paris concocted this as a way to draw attention to yourself. Are you kidding me? Please, I don't think so. You give a busy woman like Paris Hilton too much credit for concocting a stunt that will single-handedly slow down the lives of everyone she knows.

Think about what would happen if every celebrity suddenly stopped using the T-Mobile service altogether as a result of this. Think about the publicity that will garner when celebrities by the dozens start turning in their Sidekicks because they finally realize that it automatically backs up your phonebook to the internet unless you tell it not to -- which means, of course, this shit can happen again. Unless, of course, T-Mobile does something about it. Who knows whether or not they will?

There has been lots of talk on the net for months about exploiting the T-Mobile service. But I also have to think to myself: what if Paris just had her password for her Sidekick set to something stupidly simple? Like the name of her dog, Tinkerbell? I mean, if I wanted to hack someone's life and it was that easy to do it, how oblivious to your own celebrity can you be?

While they're looking for answers to this whole conspiracy, I make this note to you celebrities out there reading my blog: get some fucking tech skills or hire someone who has some. If you don't want to be tech savvy, that's fine. Just don't go crying to the world when something like this happens, okay?

If you don't feel like using a fancy encryption method to create passwords, just learn how to get down with Diceware and generate encrypted passwords yourself. I know, to you big celebrity types this seems like rocket science but come on. Seriously.

What's a few dice rolls in exchange for your privacy? Think about it.

[ Download Of The Day: Mu - Paris Hilton ]

Chaunce Subpoenaed in SEC Probe Of Sirius Radio Insider Trading

Looks like Chaunce got some 'splaining to do about potential insider trading regarding the Howard Stern and Sirius Radio deal. Even though no impropriety has been alleged officially, the SEC wants to know just what the hell Chaunce, a self-proclaimed "celebrity journalist", was doing making predictions regarding Stern's move from terrestrial radio to satellite radio.

The insider trader troubles at Sirius aren't related to Stern 100%, and there is no definition as to what the SEC is interested in at this time in regards to the matter. However, I can predict that this morning, someone is getting an earful about this matter -- listeners to The Howard Stern Show.

No Cure For The Virus -- The One Infecting Your CELLPHONE.

According to PhysOrg, "Finnish anti-virus research company F-Secure said it discovered first in-the-wild sighting of Cabir in Santa Monica, California.

Cabir is a bluetooth using worm that runs in Symbian mobile phones that support Series 60 platform, and replicates over bluetooth connections. Cabir has spread slowly into 12 countries and marks the beginning of the mobile phone virus era.

It's by far the most damaging of the small family of cell phone viruses to date. F-Secure identified the U.S. infections as Cabir.H and Cabir.I."

All of this gobbledygook that you regular folk don't follow (kinda like me) means that cellphone viruses have hit the United States. WELCOME TO THE REST OF THE WORLD, AMERICA! So if you have one of those fancy Bluetooth enabled cellphones, you ought to be careful where you park it. You might be toting the bug that takes out all your friends' phones in the process.

Desperate Housewives Season 1 Episode 15 REVALED

I almost had to watch this episode a second time to make sure that I saw this correctly, because clearly primetime television has flipped its wig. Desperate Housewives really pushes the envelope this week, and it all must be revealed. Boy, oh boy...I laughed my ass off, but at the same time I was pretty surprised. They've broken every taboo in the book on television, but this one? Well, I can't think of one primetime show that has ever had the balls to talk address adolescent homosexuality so directly. So if you're afraid someone's gonna think your a fag because you fooled around with some girl or some guy one night at that pool party, you're absolutely right. This episode will forever come back to haunt you, you wicked sinners and sinnerettes.

WARNING: Now, if you watch the show and you don't want spoilers, you'd better navigate away from this because I'm about to let the facts fly.

MY TAKE (only the details necessary to reveal this subplot): Bree Vandecamp discovers a condom in the laundry and confronts husband Rex, whom she recently took back after he cheated on her. Rex says the condom isn't his and they agree that it's better to be safe than sorry. Bree confronts her son about the condom at the dinner table, only to reveal that the condom wasn't his -- it belonged to his sister who wants John, the gardener that's been banging Mrs. Solis, to take her virginity. With me so far? Okay.

John's roommate tries to blackmail Mrs. Solis into sleeping with him by threatening to tell her husband about the affair she's been having with John. We come to find out that, apparently...John's roommate wanted to sleep with her to prove to himself that he's not gay. He mentions that he has a buddy that he's been fooling around with, but he's not sure. We discover that if you can't sport wood getting a kiss from Mrs. Solis, chances are you probably bat for the Yankees.

Later in the show, there is a pool party and Mrs. Meyer, who lives across the street from where the pool party is happening, is looking for her daughter. She comes screaming across the street trying to find her daughter and discovers someone making out in the pool. As she rants and raves, John's roommate comes up for air. Mrs. Meyer asks him, "Is my...daughter in there with you?" Lo and behold, who should pop up trying to hold his breath so as not to be seen? Andrew, son of Bree and Rex Vandecamp.

Now if you read all this and you've never watched this show, and you think, "Jesus, I can't watch any show that gets so much hype! It can't be that good!", let me assure you that even I cannot help but split my stitches every time it comes on. I'm addicted, it's the best show on television, and this episode is strong evidence as to exactly why nobody writing for television even comes close. If it makes you sick at your stomach, good. Teri Hatcher keeps proving why she won a Golden Globe and why she's going to keep winning if she keeps this up.

I can't wait to see what they're going to do next.

In other news from Sunday primetime:

The Simpsons Season 16 Episode 10 REVEALED!



I believe this picture speaks for itself.

Later, Dr. Gonzo.

Hunter S. Thompson was always a strange and infinite mystery to me as a young person. I followed the cartoon exploits of the character that was modeled after him in the Doonesbury comic strip. I read his books, as many of you did, Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas, The Gonzo Papers, Hell's Angels, and a flurry of other hazy, crazy, shady adventures. In many ways, he pioneered the idea of the journalist as a celebrity and as a cult figure. He represented, presented, and diatribed on the counter culture as nobody really could. He cashed in on the counter-culture and redesigned the tweaked-out, shot-up, shot-off, whiskey-and-ether-inflated American dream of taking to the open road as a renegade without fear of death or retribution.

And he wrote about it.

But to be fair, I'm too young even now to really understand the trials and tribulations of Hunter S. Thompson. I only know what he meant to me. I only know what he represented to my unseen eyes, my naive adolescent dreams of wild adventures that shocked the system and cursed the machine. His death represents an enormous void to me, like the death of Andy Warhol did. He made pushing the limits of journalism an art, and in his wake he has left countless thousands who have failed vainly follwing in his path towards self-destruction without ever reaching the lofty prosaically gifted heights of his insane meanderings and jet-fueled attacks. He was one of a kind, you aren't going to be able to ever mint another coin that looks, or reads, exactly like this one.

It's going to take a while for me to process the meaning behind his suicide, and it will take a while for me to fully comprehend exactly the impact he left on me, my culture, and my life. The truth about it all will never come out, I can assure you of that. He wouldn't have had it any other way than to piss all of us off and leave us guessing as to his reasons for saying a final big fuck you to the world. But all I can tell you is this: if that's the way he wanted to go, so be it. Damn him for not being who I thought he was in the end, but love him for being everything that he was to me in his lifetime.

Cordova and Collierville, Here Is Your Worst Nightmare.

Actually, this is from last night's episode of The Apprentice, but point given, right? You folks can keep on packin' up and movin' out east, but those stickers that read "Midtown Is Memphis" is not a reference to how it's a neighborhood of the city. For those you can't read inflections, it means "while other locales have their good points, as far as I'm concerned Midtown IS Memphis".

Not sure what I'm doing this weekend just yet, and the last few days have been pretty busy. What are you guys doing this weekend?

I posted about this over at Scenestars already, but just want you to get a hear of this Copeland CD I've been loving called In Motion that is about to come out. Go check out my review here and be sure to listen to a new track every Friday at Pure Volume.

UPDATE: I have to go nurse my tummy, I ate too much at the cheap and really good best kept secret of Memphis -- the lunch buffet at Pho Hoa Binh where indie rockers, hipsters, and their friends dine for damn near nothing and discuss all the best dirt Monday thru Friday at noon.

Now send me some real news?

Oh well, speaking of dirt, who was that nasty, nasty man that came into Dish, Memphis' newest Mediterranean Tapas Lounge last night, to have dinner with his...uhm..."girl"? He had a smile for everyone who came to listen to Mark Richens, Witnesse and Carlos spin an eclectic mix of deep soul and house music, he seemed to still have his chef's outfit on, and he was as nice as he could be. Perhaps a good tipper, even? But for God's sake, man...it's not that type of place, ok? You know that I know that you know that Dish is a NICE restaurant, ok? It's nice -- that means you don't take your date into the Men's bathroom and stay in the stall for 15 minutes. Next time you decide to pull a stunt like that, make sure "her" wig stays on straight when you emerge. Otherwise, you'll have been spotted, and you don't want that do you?

Happy Valentine's Day (or How To Make The Perfect Gift For That Special Person)

Let me start by wishing all of you Happy Valentine's Day. My valentine of the moment informed me, when the question was asked "what do you want for Valentine's Day?" that if any gift was purchased, "I will bloody well never speak to you again" followed by something about how Valentine's Day is "a holiday for fags, children, and mums" (mums is some sort of British word for "mom" apparently, no offense mom). I wasn't sure how to respond, so I thought of ways to make that perfect gift for that special someone.

I read this great blog called Whatevs like every day that I live. Every time I visit, almost, I have been treated to the sight of the dramatic and beautiful Lionel Richie Head from the video for his song, "Hello". What could be more romantic than making the one you love a delightfully romantic Lionel Richie head of their own? I found this chronicle of how two friends set about on an adventure to the depths of their creative souls, their own personal journey to acheive greatness and, to once and for all, answer that burning question that has been around since the early 1980's: "Is it me you're looking for?"

Take this magical journey with them to the edge of eXtreme reality as they quest to create their own Lionel Richie Head, and remember: don't buy anything for Valentine's Day. Just call someone up and tell them you love them. That's all you have to do. Seriously.

Well, actually...that's all I have to do because otherwise I'll be looking for a new valentine, now won't I?

"Dissent" and "Commentary" Merged to Form "Dysentery"

I can't decide what exactly it was that I ate that brought it on, but I'm confident it might have been the burger at Alex's Tavern. I'm not one to finger-point, though, all I know is that the last 24 hours of my life have involved approximately 12 hours of sleep and 12 hours of doing something that I don't want to repeat publicly. You can use your imagination, though.

My body started shutting down yesterday morning, and the backlash continued throughout the day and night. Dehydration, inability to eat, confusion, and general malaise have been perpetual visitors. I just managed a bowl of chicken & wild rice soup, i'll let you know how that works out.

In the meantime, I'm taking a nap. You guys can tell me how the weekend went later on, mmkay?

It's Time To Become an AIDS Activist. Again.

New York City doctors today confirmed that a new strain of the HIV virus has been found which can go from infection to full-blown AIDS in 3 months time. The virus is resistant to AIDS drugs and is "difficult or impossible to treat" according to New York City's Health Commissioner Thomas Frieden.

The strain was discovered in a patient, a male in his mid-40's who had engaged in unprotected anal sex with multiple male partners, often while hanging out with "tina". Who's "tina"? Why, your favorite drug, Speedy Gonzales -- crystal methamphetamine. The drug lowers inhibition and frequently leads to increased sexual drive, which also causes people to lose their minds and do stupid things -- like have sex without a condom on.

For anyone out there who thinks that this is still just a gay disease, that the numbers going down mean its safe to tap it without a condom on, someone needs to set you straight. If you're one of the people smart enough to keep condom manufacturers in business with your cash, be sure and tell your friends, loved ones, and family members to remember the importance of safe sex.

Be sure and visit aids.org for lots of pertinent information to the cause. There are nearly 6500 reported cases of HIV and AIDS infections reported each year in Shelby County. Don't become a statistic, and if you're infected already don't be afraid to tell your partner.

With AIDS, silence is the real killer.

RESOURCES: Memphis Health Center

Paying More To Get Less? In Midtown, Piggly Wiggly Shoppers Pay Too Much Money.

I like going to the Piggly Wiggly in Midtown for a lot of reasons. Number one, it's close. Second of all, it's open 24 hours, which means I can get that can of soup at 4AM if the spirit moves me. Thirdly, it's a Memphis tradition.

Piggly Wiggly was America's first true supermarket -- the self-service stores began in 1916 by Clarence Saunders broke the barrier of going out and picking out your own items off the shelf. Used to be, apparently, that people would make up a shopping list, give it to a clerk, and have the clerk get everything for you -- the personal shoppers of the time, if you will. The first Piggly Wiggly opened its doors at 79 Jefferson Street in Memphis in September of 1916, and everyone assumed it was destined to die a horrible death. To read more on the history of Piggly Wiggly, you can click here. It's quite fascinating to imagine an era where you didn't shop for yourself, isn't it?

Now, after nearly 100 years, there are lots of other options in the supermarket game. Stores in Memphis try to stay competitive, but one thing that just always blows my mind whenever I go into Piggly Wiggly:

The prices for the groceries are totally, ridiculously, and insanely higher than other supermarkets in Midtown Memphis.

Why is it that in one of the poorer sections of Midtown, Piggly Wiggly is always filled with people seemingly willing to pay the cost? By comparison, "the pig" as we so lovingly call it, is a store that offers sub-quality branded products (the Best Foods brand is their house brand), and exorbitantly over-priced name-brand products in comparison to it's competitors (Kroger and Schnuck's). I did a test to see if I was just thinking myself wrong here, and the results were staggering.

I bought the same groceries from all three stores in the same quantities at different times during the last three weeks. I was careful to buy house brands of certain items (Orange Juice, Minute Rice) and national or name brands of other items (Butterball Turkey Slices, Progresso Soups). The results proved my thinking correct:

My ticket cost at Schnuck's: $42.61

My ticket cost at Kroger: $37.15 (using my Kroger Plus Card)

My ticket cost at Piggly Wiggly: $49.16

How is it that a store that is locally-owned-and-operated, with a reputation that put Memphis on the map in the grocery business, can be so much more expensive than the competition? Furthermore, why is it that in one of the less economically stimulated areas of the city was this store so much more expensive than their competitors? One would think that in an area of Memphis where competition is obvious and fierce, the company who operates Piggly Wiggly would be afraid to let its prices get so far out of reach.

Alas, and by the dozens it seems, some of Memphis's financially poorest consumers were lined up ready to spend their hard-earned dollars to pay more for simple day-to-day items without concern for quality or value.

Schnuck's, in my experience shopping, always seemed more expensive -- but a lot of that has to do with quality. Schnuck's carries a lot more in the way of specialty brands and items than the other two stores. Kroger's house brands always ran less expensive and better quality than Piggly Wiggly, but compared equally in value to Schnuck's.

One thing I do know: that whole swipe card dealie you get with Kroger? What do they do with that information, and does that offest the cost of the groceries we buy? Are they selling our information out to people, or even tracking what we purchase?

I say this to you folks because, you know, that four or five bucks a week does add up -- even if you don't really have to count it. Why do you think people who have less income are more willing to spend it at The Pig? Convenience? Let me know your thoughts on this by adding a comment.

In the meantime, you will find me at Kroger or Schnuck's doing my shopping in the future. I can't bring myself to keep paying that much money for something that I can get better someplace else for less.

No, Honey, I Didn't Get Back Into Bed This Morning.

Believe me, that wasn't your loved one climbing back into bed with you at 8:05 CST this morning. Guess what, New Madridites? A quake registering 4.1 hit this morning in Arkansas, 45 Miles North-Northwest of Memphis, and I damn sure felt it. I woke up to the shaking, and my mind went, "Oh wow. An earthquake. Well, it will be over shortly." I lived in Los Angeles for a minute, and waking up to shakes and bumps was nothing new to me.

The problem is, New Madrid has been quiet for a long time and even The Memphis Flyer, the free weekly we all love to snark about in Midtown, actually wrote a piece on this just last week. I hate to say they told us so, but chalk one up to Janel Davis for timing being everything.

Now go make sure you back up your computers, get food that doesn't require cooking, a few candles, and that generator your mom bought during the great Derecho of July 22, 2003. Who knows, we might not need it, but better safe than stupid.

Michael Frederick, You Asshole.

If you ever wondered who got me my first glimpse into blogging, it would have to be Michael "Toad" Frederick. I love Toad, he's someone that I just enjoy being around. In many ways, Toad is my hero, you see. He is one of the funniest people I know, because he's not afraid to push the envelope as far as it can be pushed. Recently, I've been worried about my friend Toad, mostly because he never calls or sends me random IM's anymore. I know he's been taking a lot of things that normal people don't put into their bodies if they aren't rock stars or cancer patients. Toad is neither, but you wouldn't know that to ask him.

This morning, The Paradox alerted me to Toad's blog wherein his girlfriend, Valerie, proclaims him to have committed suicide on Monday. Now, I figure that this is some sort of practical joke because, knowing Toad, that's the way he would do it -- you don't hear from him for a while and then, to grab everyone's attention, he fakes his own suicide on his website. I looked around, I could find no obituary for a Michael Frederick or even a Toad. Ok, ha ha ha, jokes on me.

But the bad part is, he's still on AIM and he isn't answering his phone. His company website is completely off-line. The Paradox said it best:

[11:07] IndiePopPop: dude he's on fucking AIM
[11:07] IndiePopPop: he aint dead
[11:07] MrTekno: hehe
[11:07] MrTekno: he's away.
[11:07] MrTekno: toad would be on aim after death anyway man. trust me on this one.

HAS ANYONE SEEN MICHAEL FREDERICK?!?! If you have, please tell him to call me because I love him and if he killed himself, I'm gonna kick his ass when I die someday.

If he didn't kill himself, I'm gonna kick his ass for making me worry about him.

Note to my readers: Faking your own death DOES NOT EQUAL FUNNY.

Please continue onwards with your day.

Thus beginneth the mystery of my friend's possibly-faked suicide. If he's dead, let me know because I want to start mourning as quickly as possible to prevent interrupting my enjoyment of The Amazing Race Season 7. I need to be completely focused, or I might miss a detail.

If You Can't Blog Anything Nice, Don't Blog Anything At All.

Please kill this week, oh God of our fathers. I don't usually pray, but I am praying for the bad juju that perpetrated itself over the last several days to disappear. Everything was going so well, oh just so well. Then I was in that fender bender (in which nobody was hurt), the Post Office took its sweet time to get a letter to me (which wreaked havoc on a series of plans), and at the end of it I'm just scratching my head.

That is the bad news.

The good news can be found on Rachel's site where she breaks it down for you regarding the weekend's many events.

I would like to wave hello to my fellow Memphis bloggers, Abby, Aaron, Mike, Len, and the other people whose names I have forgotten because I know one too many people in this world.

Today's special involves The Rub and, aye, there it is. Seems Paul Cox forgot to take his morning laxative and something he ate got lodged in his sphincter causing his brain to react in quite the opposite way that it normally does when such events occur in his life. Ok, so I previewed the fantastic New Order record today, quite far in advance of it's release. I guess Paul didn't take the time to notice that the song I previewed, "Krafty", is the single from the soon-to-be-released New Order album. I suppose that when you write music reviews for a living, I guess the best you can do is wait until someone pads your coffer before you notice what's actually going on in the world. Good thing I do it because I love music.

Well, it's as cold as kraut here in Memphis, and I need coffee. I've got a new client and I have lots of work to do on his behalf. You guys be good out there, and don't pick any fights with anyone.

My mom reads my blog every time I post, hey mom -- leave a comment and explain to the people what it was like watching me grow up listening to music? I'd love to hear your perspective.

"OMG, I Just Made Out With That Guy From The Strokes!"

My friend Jen came home last night with a grin on her face that could have sunk a ship. I asked her what had happened, and she confirmed what I already knew. She had run into the guy I alluded to in this post playing fooseball at the Young Avenue Deli with none other than one of our favorite local boys, Jack Oblivian. As you may or may not be aware, Jack White is known for playing a certain guitar that he bought from Jack Oblivian many moons ago, and heavens knows he's done both the guitar and us folks in Memphis proud. Glad to have you in town, brother. Stay longer this time, and remember to meet me at The Beer Joint later, I'll buy you that pint I promised.

Now get up and get you a veggie dog smothered in pork sauce, it's almost dinner time.

Note: Hey smarty marty, I know he's not in The Strokes. I was being ironical.

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

I love some fried chicken just like the rest of you folks in Memphis. Well, most of you, anyways. I have a lot of vegetarian/vegan friends and I have love for you as well. You keep me honest and healthy, and that I appreciate. But I'm not gonna fake the funk here -- I love some fried chicken, especially from Gus's Fried Chicken on Front Street. See, that's what I personally call finger-lickin' good stuff. Mmmm, mmm.

But one place I swore years ago I wouldn't eat fried chicken from ever again was the world's most famous chicken purveyors, KFC. Apparently, the Rev. Al Sharpton agrees with me. Aligning himself with PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), Sharpton has created an 8-minute video campaign to be shown outside of KFC's all over these United States asking the fast-food consortium known as Yum Brands to, quite simply, clean up their act. He is asking for a boycott of KFC until the fast food giant puts new standards in place for the treatment of the 750 million chickens they process for KFC every year. If that wasn't enough, add Russell Simmons of Def Jam to the list of people calling for the boycott.

Why would PETA work so hard to get these two celebrities involved? Simple -- KFC has a large number of franchises in predominantly black neighborhoods and in 2003, the executives told investors they were working to increase promotion to the black community.

Sharpton, Simmons and PETA aren't asking KFC to stop killing birds. They just want more humane conditions for housing and killing the birds, birds who are currently being giving huge doses of hormones by producers in order to rapidly increase their growth -- an inhumane process which frequently causes the birds to crumple under their own weight. The savings is passed along to us humans, along with yummy doses of the growth hormones left right there in the chicken. Ostensibly, this bonus treat is included so you can get fatter and fatter and watch your heart explode even faster than it will from chomping on a hormone-free chicken wing! Oh, yeah. Mighty fine eatin'.

So like I'm telling you, go with the flow on this one, people. KFC isn't the only bird in this town, and it certainly isn't the place I'm headed to spend my hard-earned dollars when it's fried chicken time. I'm urging you to join this boycott.

Now pick yourself up, go on over to Gus's and get you some fried chicken, baby. Y'all are lookin' kinda hungry. Or if you're feeling the Wednesday vibe, rumor has it your friendly neighborhood McDonald's (who, believe it or not, has complied with PETA's requests to improve their conditions) is having a Groundhog Day sale -- 39 cent hamburgers and 49 cent cheeseburgers. Even Punxsutawney Phil can't see his shadow on a deal that good.

Celebrity Sighting in Good Ol' Memphis, Tennessee

According to a good friend of mine, there is this guy who keeps appearing in Midtown the last couple of days because he's somewhere in Midtown Memphis doing something that I can't talk about at a place that I can't tell you trying to get something done that is none of my business. This is an artist's rendering of him, but alas I have no earthly idea who this guy is or why he would be here doing stuff. In fact, it's possible my friend didn't actually see him at all, whoever he is. My friend wears glasses that cause soda bottles to run in fear. Also, my friend is a weed whacker who loves to drive 70 down 55 while drinking on a 40 of .45 or 800. You know, he got a nasty case of that glaucoma and big poppa need his medicine to get his shades tuned in correctly, 'nahh mean?

But I digress. Anyways, If you have any earthly idea who this dude is, keep it to yourself. He's entitled to some privacy every now and again, right? Don't stare at him and whatever you do, remember you didn't hear it from me. Now go crank up Hot 107.1 and make the glass on your Pinto vibrate.